Happy Merry
Ah, the holidays. A time for family, friends, and merriment. Not for me. I’m not a fan of the holidays for a lot of reasons. Instead of being a Scrooge, I thought I would talk about something else though. Something a little unexpected for someone that knows me. The idea that I would reveal myself in a public forum is contrary to my nature. But it’s something that is on my heart every year.
A lot of people don’t really like spending time with their in-laws. You are part of the family, but a lot of us never completely mesh into the family. I’m one of those. My in-laws aren’t bad people by any means. But we don’t mix well together. I don’t feel excluded, but I don’t really feel welcome. It’s like I am out of place. I’m just there. It hasn’t always been that way. Really, just the last seven Christmases, it has been getting progressively worse.
This is the 7th Christmas that we will celebrate since my mother-in-law passed away. She was really the glue that held Christmas together for her family. Every year, you can see it more and more. Everyone used to travel down to her house for Christmas festivities that started on Christmas Eve. Of course, things couldn’t start until she got home from Walmart where she worked. She always seemed to have to close on Christmas Eve. In that sense, I’m sure it was relaxing to be able to come home to a house full of people.
But there was always so much food spread out over a table that could seat 16 or so people. Sandwiches. Meatballs. Candy. Everything. After everyone had a full belly, gifts would be exchanged. There was always a gift for everyone, no matter how late you were added to the guest list. That always impressed me. It made me feel welcome, like I was part of the family. Really, anyone that was there was part of the family.
Christmas morning had Santa presents for the younger kids, guaranteed to have more pieces than a jigsaw puzzle that the parents had to assemble for the kids. When you are a grandparent, you can get away with stuff like that. I’ll confess that I don’t miss that part too much though. Then there was the big holiday meal, complete with the cornbread dressing that no one has been able to successfully replicate in all of these years.
Seven Christmases later, it seems like the traditions are falling by the wayside. The 2 day event became just a Christmas Day event. This year, it isn’t even on Christmas Day. It’s on Christmas Eve for lunch. It just doesn’t seem right. It seems like more of an obligation than anything else. It makes me sad.
I think my first Christmas season with my in-laws is really what made me feel a part of it all. They had a terrible artificial Christmas tree, but decorating for Christmas is something that I am especially good at. I was able to properly fluff the tree, fill it with lights, and place the decorations in just the right places to make the tree the best that it ever looked. I will never forget how proud she was as all of her neighbors and family complimented her on the tree and thought that it was a new, live tree. That’s when I felt like I had earned my spot in the family.
But I miss my mother-in-law. It brings tears to my eyes every time I say it, but I do. Christmas has never been the same. I wish she could see how big her grandchildren are. I wish she could see how much her granddaughter has grown. I wish she could hold her giant grandson that she never got to meet.
I wish Ms. Sandy had shown me how to make that cornbread dressing. I think I came closest to replicating it one year, but to be honest, it wasn’t the same. It will never be the same. And neither will Christmas. We miss you.
