Worst Cooks In America
After an over hyped 2 hour production of Iron Chef America on the Food Network last night, I discovered a potential new gold mine of greatness in the latest Food Network show “Worst Cooks In America.” The premise is simple — scour the country for the worst cooks you can find, take the worst of the worst and teach them to do better to the point that they have to cook for food critics and pass the meal off as the instructor.
The first thing contestants must do is cook a dish that represents their cooking ability. The worst one, perhaps, was this turnip surprise dish that I can’t even describe other than it was whole turnips and meat. There was a pasta and olive dish that had pineapples “for crunch.” Another delight was a boiled whole chicken, covered in some canned sauce and topped with 2 slices of Swiss cheese. One contestant, Marque, has a deal with his partner that the partner will take care of the house while Marque cooks. Marque served asparagus stalks, tossing away the tops of the spears. My wife commented that his partner was getting “the raw end of the deal,” to which I countered Marque may both be getting the raw end. Yes, I am 12 years old on the inside.
After sorting through the contestants and choosing the worst of the worst and splitting into teams, it was time to go to the first challenge. The objective was to recreate the dish that their instructor showed them, which was basically a shrimp and clam stew. Each team had a slightly different version. It was shown to them, step by step, how to make the dish. They took notes. The recipe was written on a giant chalkboard. Yet, at least half of them failed. They couldn’t measure the ingredients or even follow a recipe. I was exasperated watching this because I consider myself a pretty good cook. I remember when I first started cooking. I wasn’t great, but I was nowhere near these people.
The show gave me a greater appreciation for my wife’s cooking. She isn’t a great cook, but she is better than these people. I’m not sure that she would have fared much better than any of the contestants on that challenge, though, because she doesn’t like to measure things either. I’m not really complaining because I knew from the beginning that I would have to do the cooking. I told her that we wouldn’t worry about diets if she was cooking. “I know. I’d cook these amazing healthy dishes with all kinds of nutrients,” she quickly countered, with the visions of carrots and broccoli dancing in her head. Unfortunately, I brought her back to earth. “No, I was thinking that it would lead to smaller portion sizes and no second helpings.” Bazinga!
