When my wife and I first started dating, I owned a pair of cutoff sweat paints. They were broken in just the way I liked them. They had holes in places and were thread bare in others. I had had them for at least five years and they were so comfortable. Given the condition that they were in, I never wore them out in public. That didn’t stop her from loathing their existence though.

You shouldn’t be surprised to learn that these shorts disappeared before our first child was even born. Women are constantly nesting. Yes, like birds. The things that get used to make the nest all have to fit. My shorts didn’t fit. They had to go. She denies it, which makes the whole situation even more frustrating over a dozen years later. Women feel justified in whatever sneaky thing they do to maintain their sanity, but they can never admit to doing the act in the first place.

I’m sure my wife will be rushing over to throw out some lame defense, but the fact is it is indefensible to rid a home of another person’s possessions just because you find them objectionable. But that’s women for you.

Wedding Crashers: What’s not to love about this movie? It’s really funny. It has great one liners. No matter where it is in the movie, you can jump right in and watch it. That’s probably the most important criteria for a movie to make this list. You need to be able to jump in at any point. The fact that Wedding Crashers is on a lot of channels also helps it make this list.

Sweet Home Alabama: Starring Reese Witherspoon as a Southern belle fashion designer living in New York City, I will always watch it. She’s incredibly cute, and even though I think she lost her accent long ago, there’s just something about a Southern accent. It’s also set in Alabama, so I don’t mind the stereotypes being put on them. They deserve it.

The Karate Kid: The original Karate Kid movie, with Mr. Dancing With The Stars, Ralph Macchio, grabs my attention. Even Part 2 in Okinawa will make me stop. Part 3? The Next Karate Kid? The new one with Jaden Smith? Not so much. I may stop, but it won’t keep my attention. There are so many things right about the first one that you can’t go wrong by stopping and watching it. Wax on, wax off. Sweep the leg. Points or no points, you’re dead meat. A crane kick. It’s all right around the corner.

Old School: “You’re my boy, Blue!” Will Ferrel, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn come together for frat house hijinks. It’s really a guy movie, but I know lots of girls that like the movie too. Jeremy Piven is in it as the bad guy, which is easy, because he is a tool and easy to hate. The only lull in the movie comes when they get kicked out of the frat house until it is time to do the certification test, but that’s a brief one.

Ocean’s Eleven: Here is the thing about this star-studded movie – I don’t know why I like it. I kind of like Clooney and Pitt. Bernie Mac has a great character. A key part of the plot revolves around Ross and Monica’s dad from Friends. There is a lot of explosions and it just looks like they had a good time making the movie, which by all accounts, they did. There are a lot of options worse than Ocean’s Eleven when you are looking for something to watch on TV.

And one that doesn’t make me stop: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – One of my all time favorite movies rarely gets me involved when I am flipping channels and see it on. For one, it’s not on a lot. I get that the movie has aged, but so has The Breakfast Club (an honorable mention choice) and it’s on almost every week somewhere. I can’t say anything bad about the movie. In fact, it is the first DVD that i ever purchased when I got a DVD player. FBDO does not make the cut.

Like I said, it was typical enough. She started messing with me, so I tried to put a piece of red onion in her mouth. “You can’t make me eat an onion,” she lashes out. We laugh it off, but soon enough, she says it again and wags her finger in my face. As I like to say, it got real real, real quick.

I felt like my parental bounds were being pushed, and I am sure they were, to a degree. So I told her that she couldn’t have any ice cream unless she took a bite of the red onion piece.

Let the standoff begin.

She decides that she needs some sympathy, so she starts working her eyes to make herself cry. That just made me laugh. So she started working it harder, eventually bringing forth tears. Of course, I am unphased by this because I watched her make herself cry. So did my wife. So did both of our boys. But before you know it, my wife has turned on me for making the girl cry! Can you believe that? Witnessing the whole thing, my wife actually sided with our daughter! I guess girls do stick together.

In the end, I did win out. My daughter tried the red onion. She hated it. Everyone got their ice cream and we all went about our day.

The moral of the story is that you can’t trust girls. They are fake and they naturally side with each other.

The event started with a lockdown last night at 8pm. They were all going to sleep at school to make it easier to make the 4:30 AM departure time. Unfortunately, he came down with a fever at 6pm. You can feel the panic in the air. A virus has been going around his class that started with fever and was ending with the runs. That’s not what you want when you are going to be stuck on a bus for 5 hours each way.

My son is always the optimist. We decided that if his fever, which was over 101 at the time, was gone at 3:50AM, I would take him to school so he could catch the bus. He believed his fever would be gone, but it wasn’t. It was only 99.6. He was distraught. I don’t blame him, but it puts you in a tough spot as a parent.

I found an article online that has some tips for what you can do to ease the pain of disappointment.

First, listen to your child. It provides them with comfort and everyone likes to be heard, even as a child. Second, share your personal experiences. Your child needs to know that they aren’t alone. Next, offer perspective to your child. Help them see the bigger picture without saying things like “It’s not that bad…” or “It could be worse.” Finally, be understanding. It might take some time for your child to get over his or her disappointment. That’s ok.

Being a parent isn’t always easy, but it’s a choice we made. I hope this helps you manage those times where your child is unconsolable.

Maybe the best thing to happen to me was my oldest son becoming old enough to be able to cut the grass for me. Today, I taught him how to use the grass bagging attachment to the push mower. I’ll admit that it does make the yard look better. The main thing is me not having to do it. I only pay him $10. I tried to lay out a plan for him to show him that if he saved his money, he could buy a car when he is old enough to drive. It didn’t stick.

I took some time trimming trees. It’s fun to hold something that could be used to remove a finger. I’ll have to get a fresh pair for interrogations when my daughter is old enough to date. “Use those fingers to remove anything and I’ll remove those fingers.” That’s got nothing to do with yard work though. That’s fun. Cutting grass isn’t.

The excitement of the day was finding a turtle in our backyard. Of course, my kids were all afraid of him like he is a dragon. My kids are scared of everything.

But the neighbors should be happy. The yard is looking nice, for this week anyway.

Things have advanced from a technological standpoint these days. I can now rent a remote computer that has the audio software on it to run my station, meaning that I won’t be bothered by local power outages or the new AT&T U-verse data cap. Revenues are always the issue. How much am I going to have to pay out of my own pocket every month to keep this thing alive?

My hope/plan is to be able to build enough of a following that I can move my programming to a HD station locally. If nothing else, this will lower my streaming bill. I also feel like real internet radio in cars is around the corner in a very mainstream way. Now seems like as good of a time as any.

What do you think? Do you spend a lot of time flipping around your crappy radio dial? Is there a station out there that really does it for you? Is internet radio something that you enjoy?

I didn’t go.

I have some emotional flaw about family gatherings. First, we have always kept our families separate, so I don’t feel like my in-laws are MY family. That means I don’t feel the sense of obligation that I should feel. Second, these things are kind of depressing. Going back to my youth, I remember having gatherings for elderly people and then they would pass away soon after. It got to the point where I equated family gatherings with pending funerals, to the point that I would spend time praying that someone wouldn’t make it to the gathering or that the honoree wouldn’t pass away the next day.

It happened with both of my mother’s parents – one last gathering and then POOF. Gone. Emotionally damaged.

Perhaps that’s not the right way to be. We all have obligations, whether we like them or not. Too often, I shirk mine when it comes to family. I prefer to live solitary, but that’s not how social protocols work. You have to go.

I think I have mentioned in this space that it has been a number of years since I celebrated Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter with any kind of family outside of my wife and kids. Really, I can’t avoid them. I’m not sure what it will take for me to move on and rejoin society. Maybe this year. Or maybe not.